lost on the internets

A Story.

one-twenty-five:

Have you ever looked at a person and known there was a connection there? Your heart skips a beat,

Well… way-back-when in 2004 I had that spark with a boy I worked with.  I swear he felt it too.  We became fast friends, but nothing ever happened… I was convinced it was because he thought I was too fat; he liked me, but simply thought I was too fat for him to pursue anything further than friends.

Well… lo and behold I received a message from said boy who “stumbled across my profile recently and just wanted to let [me] know, [i] look great” umm whhhhaaattt the effff? and then it continued to awkwardly ask me out.

Again, ummm whhhhhhaaaat?

I find myself in a predicament… do I go on a date with someone who thinks I’m only good enough for him now that I’ve lost weight? Or tell him to peace out, because if I wasn’t good enough for him when I was a fatty, he’s not good enough for me now that I’m a partial-fatty?

The obvious choice is to move on, but let’s be honest here… we all do it.  I’ve even done it… so I don’t really want to hold it against him.

Sigh, oh the joys of being fat chubby lady.

100% tell him to forget it.  because it will always be in the back of your mind. 

I’ve gone up and down more times than i can possibly count and, as a result, have always pretty much hated the people i met when i looked my best because i always secretly suspected that they would not have liked me when i wasnt my best.  probably because, early on, one of them actually came out and said it - that he hadnt been interested in me prior because i was heavier back then…  and i dont need that.

in a weird, twisted way, i’m happy that i got engaged when i was pretty close to my worst, weight-wise…  because i never worry why he wants to be with me or if he’d be the kind of guy who’d break up with me if i got fat after having kids or something…